I Picked My College Because the Buildings Matched

Early deadlines are coming fast. A lot of them fall in the first half of November, and plenty of seniors are deciding right now whether to apply early decision anywhere. So let me tell you how I picked a college.

Forty-some years ago, I was a first-generation college student from a big public high school in Pittsburgh. Nobody in my house had done this before, so nobody knew what questions to ask.

I chose the prettiest campus. All the buildings matched. I crowned it my school in the spring of junior year and applied early decision. I had no clue what I was doing. Once I was in, all I wanted was to drop my AP classes.

My mother was not impressed.

Then I got there. The girls wore pearls to football games. Pearls. They did their makeup for class. I was way out of my element, and the matching buildings did not help one bit.

I found my people eventually. And I stayed, mostly because I didn't want to admit my mother was right.

But I still wonder what could have been if I hadn't crowned one school so early.

Before you crown a school

1. Watch the students, not the buildings. What are they wearing, doing, talking about? Could your kid pull up a chair at that table?

2. Picture a Tuesday in February. Gray sky, no tour guide walking backward, nobody selling anything. Still a good fit?

3. Ask why early. Early decision means saying yes before you see any other offers, including the money. If the real answer is “to get it over with,” that's not a reason.

A pretty campus gets old fast. So does a decision made to get it over with.

If your senior has looked hard, knows the school and has seen the numbers, early decision can be exactly the right call. My mistake wasn't applying early. It was applying before I'd really looked.

If your student is younger

Parents, stop checking boxes. Let your student visit a big school and a small one, change their mind, and get a few things wrong. That's how kids find the right fit, and the growing up along the way is half the point. It's hard to grow on a schedule built to get it over with.

Here's to a calm fall,

Betsy

If this note landed for you, feel free to pass it along to a friend in the thick of it.